Stop Saying “I Will Never Lose Weight” and Try This Instead

Weight Loss & Diets | Written by Nathan Petitpas | Updated on 18 August 2022

Scrabble letters that spell out "do not give up".

If you catch yourself saying “I will never lose weight” or typing those words into Google, don’t worry…we’ve been there, and trying these few things can make all the difference.

By changing the way you think about yourself, food, and external stimuli, you can jump start your weight loss journey and open the next chapter to a healthier life. 

Acknowledge The Value of Never Giving Up (It’s Okay to Fail)

Chances are, at this point in your life, you may have ‘failed’ at something. It could be as small as failing a test in fourth grade or as big as defaulting on a loan or going into debt. However, this is the only way that you can learn – without any failures or mistakes, people wouldn’t be able to learn from anything. 

The phrase ‘learn from your mistakes’ is extremely wise and true – trying new things, failing, and getting back on the horse is an effective trial and error method to seeing what works for you and what doesn’t. The same principle goes for dieting and losing weight – just because one method didn’t work for you, that doesn’t mean that there are no other options left. So even if you’re not losing weight with Herbalife or another program, or thinking to yourself “Why do I look fatter after working out?” there’s always another diet or regimen around the corner that may actually work better for you. 

The biggest thing is taking baby steps in the right direction and trying again…no matter how small of a step. 

Instead of making excuses as to why attempt #1 didn’t work, try practicing some self-love to honor that you tried. Change your mindset to be grateful for what you learned throughout the process and use these helpful tips and tricks to be more successful next time. Instead of beating yourself up and feeling hopeless about weight loss, remove the guilt mentality and stop saying ‘I will never lose weight’

Try Removing the Guilt Mentality & Forgive Yourself

The mental part of weight loss is one of the biggest aspects of a healthy diet and lifestyle -and it often goes overlooked. Studies have shown that health professionals need to re-evaluate obesity management strategies and policies to better address mental well-being [1].

The mental side of being overweight should be more of a focus than the numbers on the scale

If the thought ‘I will never lose weight no matter what I do” is stuck on repeat in your mind, this can directly impact your success. Studies have shown that there is a direct link between dieting and negative thinking, which can lead to unhealthy eating patterns [2]. Instead of starting to obsess on your inability to lose weight in the blink of an eye, focus on individual case studies that can provide inspiration to your life. 

Health organizations and coaches that focus on the individual level by describing a person successfully losing weight through diet and exercise may have a more effective strategy when related to obesity [3]. Therefore, instead of thinking about all the ways in which you are ‘failing’, think about individual case studies that provide you with inspiration and motivation to continue with your journey.  

After all, motivation and positive thinking can be the difference between losing weight and being at a standstill. 

Forgiving yourself for ‘failing’ at one type of diet or exercise method is key to being able to move on and try something new. It has been proven that if individuals fully get on board with weight loss-related behavior goals and feel autonomous about reaching them, they are more likely to have long-lasting behavior change [4]. Motivation, self-determination, and long-term weight control are directly related. 

But why should you change your mindset? Why should you focus on positivity when everything seems hopeless? Why should you stop the internal monolog of ‘I will never lose weight’? Betting on yourself, increasing your motivation, and desiring complete change can help you finally achieve your weight loss goals. 

A woman meditating while introspecting why she thinks she will never lose weight.

Try to Pinpoint Your ‘Why’

If you don’t know why you are fighting for weight loss, then it may seem like you’re trying all of this hard work for no reason. However, being self-aware and understanding the consequences of your actions is essential to identifying what is stopping you from losing weight. Learning how to accept yourself – and love yourself – is the motivation that can keep you going. 

Research has shown that motivational interviewing is effective in promoting behavioral change across various health arenas, such as BMI reduction, increased exercise levels, and reduction in binge eating [5]. 

Using motivational tendencies from external sources, such as dieticians, nutritionists, or emotional eating coaches – along with motivational self-talk and therapy – is key to taking the next step towards better health

Increasing your motivation and confidence within yourself is more important than you may think. If you are feeling worthless and have low levels of self-esteem, you might be asking yourself – why can’t I lose weight? Why am I depressed about my weight, but can’t stop eating? Instead of putting these negative thoughts into your mind when you feel poorly about your body, try practicing self-love and boosting your confidence. 

After all, studies have shown that long-term weight maintenance is expected when levels of confidence for behavior change are high [6]. Instead of repeating negative mantras to yourself when you fail, like ‘I will never lose weight’, figure out how you can find the positives in each situation and setback. 

High levels of self-efficacy can help improve individuals’ motivation to persevere through setbacks that test their willpower [7]. The relationship between eating self-efficacy and eating disorder symptoms is critical to understanding the psychology behind eating disorders and how to shift your mindset.  

Getting through tough times, learning how to accept yourself, and being grateful for the small changes is what can really kickstart your weight loss journey. Small steps are what is necessary to get back on track and begin seeing the pounds fall off. 

Build Healthy Habits

Studies have shown that people know what to do to control their weight, but do have difficulty implementing or keeping up with healthy habits [8]. Even making ‘small changes’ is effective in increasing physical activity, preventing weight gain, and improving nutrition behaviors [9] [10].

Consistency and frequency is more important than intensity in the beginning of habit-forming tendencies. Do not focus on how far you can run on the treadmill – instead, put your mind towards going for a walk every single day after work to incorporate physical exercise into your daily routine. 

Since the majority of individuals are more inclined to the small changes strategy than other options to improve eating and health behaviors, this could help provide more knowledge, habits, and skills to use for weight management. Instead of focusing on the negatives of why you have gained weight, why you’re unhealthy, or why you are not physically fit, focus on reducing ‘incremental weight gain’ and small lifestyle changes [10]. 

Taking the next step towards a better mindset and healthier body can be as simple as eating one fruit a day. Instead of reaching for the sugary fruit snacks, eat an apple or kiwi. Replace one junk food snack with a healthier choice to give yourself more energy and feel better about a well-rounded diet. Small changes will kickstart your quest to get skinny and drop a dress size fast while feeling great about your body image.

Making these small decisions is the key between losing weight and being unsuccessful in your weight loss journey. If you feel like you can never lose weight, you are afraid to lose weight, or you can’t accept yourself, there may be other deeper reasons behind your weight gain or inability to lose weight. 

Identify Why You’re Not Losing Weight

Sometimes, losing weight is more complex than you may initially think. It’s common for people to question “Why do I look fatter after working out” because although you might think you’re doing all the right things so far – like going to an eating coach, exercising, and making healthy food choices, sometimes our mindset can derail our entire weight loss journey. A few days of healthy eating can be completely derailed by binging on unhealthy foods, being sedentary, and having a negative mindset. 

You might be trying too many fad diets and quick fixes that are not sustainable in the long term. Although you may wonder “is jello good for weight loss?”, you need to find a consistently-healthy eating plan for the rest of your life and jello isn’t all too healthy.

This is the time for introspection – are you afraid to lose weight? Are you ‘tired of being fat’ or do you use the weight to protect you from a psychological issue that you have never addressed? What is stopping you from losing weight – really? 

Sometimes, underlying issues can be the reason behind why you can need lose weight. Certain conditions, such as binge eating or excess alcohol consumption can actually lead to metabolism issues, which can completely derail your weight loss journey. Other times, we find that a sedentary lifestyle that may be brought on by depression is the reason why you can’t lose weight. 

In addition to a psychological concern that may be the roadblock between leading a healthy lifestyle, there can sometimes be another type of physical health issue that was never properly diagnosed. Some individuals who are trying to lose weight may find they have a thyroid problem that is causing their metabolism to come to a grinding halt – others may have a food intolerance that can make it hard for them to get the proper nutrients during the day. After all, food intolerances affect up to 20% of the population – a real scientific problem that could be causing a hindrance in your weight loss quest [11]. 

Visiting a doctor or healthcare professional can help you determine why it is exceptionally hard for you to lose weight and why your diet doesn’t seem to be working. 

Try Visiting a Healthcare Professional

A doctor in a lab cloak to symbolize seeking medical care before giving up on weight loss.

Sometimes weight may be sticking due to another underlying issue and that’s okay. The most important next step is to get a physical and go from there. Discussing your weight loss and concerns with a healthcare professional, like a doctor, nutritionist, food allergist, or dietician can help you pinpoint any underlying medical issues as to why you are not losing weight like you should. 

There are a few very common conditions that can make it harder for you to lose weight:

  • Hypothyroidism – This common condition is when your thyroid is underactive and slows down your metabolism, making it hard for people to lose weight and causing fatigue and tiredness during the day.
  • Chronic stress – Are you constantly worried about work? Do you ask yourself ‘why can’t I lose weight no matter what I do’? If you are putting excess pressure and stress on yourself, this can be a direct hindrance to weight loss. 
  • Cushing’s Syndrome – Cushing’s causes elevated levels of cortisol that can cause weight gain, high blood pressure, and sleep disturbances.
  • Polycystic Ovary Syndrome – Called PCOS, this condition typically results in thinning hair, weight gain, and acne. 
  • Hormonal changes – Especially in women, hormonal changes are a huge trigger behind sudden weight gain. During puberty, pregnancy ,or menopause, it is normal for your hormones to skyrocket to previously unseen elves – which can cause unforeseen weight gain. 

You may be surprised by what you find, but don’t get down because understanding what’s going on is the first step to addressing any underlying issues.

Change Your Mindset to Achieve Weight Loss

Beyond changing your mindset and being sure your mood is stable, talking to an emotional eating coach can put your mind at ease as well. They can help you talk though underlying health conditions and develop a plan for how to tackle your weight loss journey.

It’s okay to fail, just avoid telling yourself ‘I will never lose weight’ and take tiny steps to better your health instead…even if that just means scheduling an appointment. Getting help from a reputable professional, developing a positive mindset, making small changes in your lifestyle, and fighting for yourself are key steps to achieving your weight loss and health goals


[1] Rand, K., Vallis, M., Aston, M., Price, S., Piccinini-Vallis, H., Rehman, L., & Kirk, S. (2017). “It is not the diet; it is the mental part we need help with.” A multilevel analysis of psychological, emotional, and social well-being in obesity. International journal of qualitative studies on health and well-being12(1), 1306421.

[2] Wehling, H. & Lusher, J. (2019). Cognitive and Emotional Influences on Eating Behavior: A Qualitative Perspective. Nutr Metab Insights, 12

[3] Thibdeau, P. & Flusberg, S. (2017). Lay Theories of Obesity: Cause and Consequences. Adiposity: epidemiology and treatment modalities. 

[4] Teixeira, P.J., Silva, M.N., Mata, J. et al. Motivation, self-determination, and long-term weight control. Int J Behav Nutr Phys Act 9, 22 (2012).

[5] Dunn, C., Deroo, L., & Rivara, F. P. (2001). The use of brief interventions adapted from motivational interviewing across behavioral domains: a systematic review. Addiction 96, 1725–1742. doi: 10.1080/09652140120089481

[6] Deci, E. L. & Ryan, R. M. (2012). Self-determination theory in health care and its relations to motivational interviewing: a few comments. Int. J. Behav. Nutr. Phys. Act. 9(24). doi: 10.1186/1479-5868-9-24

[7] Berman, E. S. (2006). The relationship between eating self-efficacy and eating disorder symptoms in a non-clinical sample. Eat. Behav. 7, 79–90. doi: 10.1016/j.eatbeh.2005.07.004

[8] Pietrabissa, G., Ceccarini, M., Borrello, M., Manzoni, G. M., Titon, A., Nibbio, F., et al. (2015). Enhancing behavioral change with motivational interviewing: a case study in a Cardiac Rehabilitation Unit. Front. Psychol. 6, 298.. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00298

[9] Hills, A. P., Byrne, N. M., Lindstrom, R., & Hill, J. O. (2013). ‘Small changes’ to diet and physical activity behaviors for weight management. Obesity facts6(3), 228–238.

[10] Hill, J., Wyatt, H., Reed, G. & Peters, J. (2003). Obesity and the environment: Where do we go from here? Science, 299, 853–855. 

[11] Tuck, C. J., Biesiekierski, J. R., Schmid-Grendelmeier, P., & Pohl, D. (2019). Food Intolerances. Nutrients11(7), 1684.

About the Author

Nathan Petitpas

Nathan has been a fitness enthusiast for the past 12 years and jumps between several types of training such as bodybuilding, powerlifting, cycling, gymnastics, and backcountry hiking. Due to the varying caloric needs of numerous sports, he has cycled between all types of diets and currently eats a whole food diet. In addition, Nathan lives with several injuries such as hip impingement, spondylolisthesis, and scoliosis, so he underwent self-rehabilitation and no longer lives with debilitating pain.