The metal shovel screamed as I jammed its blade into the mouth of his snowblower, choking the engine in a blast of backfired ice.
He cut the power, his face a mask of pure rage under the swirling snow, but then a slow, condescending grin spread across his lips. “Public easement, sweetheart.”
That man had no idea he’d just sealed his fate with a single word.
Little did he know, his favorite smug phrase was a legal fiction, and I was about to use a meticulously kept digital diary and one glorious city ordinance to make him pay a small fortune to have his own mess professionally hauled away.
The Gathering Storm: The First Flakes
The first snow of the season is always a lie. It comes down soft and apologetic, dusting the skeletons of the maples and clinging to the evergreens like powdered sugar. It whispers of cozy nights and hot chocolate, a gentle introduction to the months of frozen misery ahead. I watched the flakes drift past my office window, each one a tiny, beautiful falsehood.
My name is Eliza, and at fifty, I’ve learned to distrust beautiful falsehoods. My job is to manage them. As a senior project manager for a software firm, I wrangle timelines, budgets, and the delicate egos of developers who believe code is poetry. I live by Gantt charts and status updates. My world is one of controlled, predictable order.
My husband, Mark, loves the first snow. He sees it and thinks of skiing, of the fireplace crackling, of the quiet beauty of a world muffled in white. I see it and my stomach clenches, because I think of Walter.
Walter, or Walt as he insists everyone call him, is our neighbor to the right. He’s a monument to aggrieved masculinity, a man whose primary hobby seems to be maintaining the most aggressively pristine lawn and, come winter, the most surgically clear driveway in all of suburban Ohio. And for the past six years, his method of achieving that clarity has been my personal, recurring nightmare.
The memory is so vivid it feels like it happened this morning. The grinding roar of his two-stage, commercial-grade snowblower, the arc of white spraying high into the air, and the methodical way he’d walk it right up to our property line. He’d pivot, and with a flick of his wrist, direct the chute to unload a glacier’s worth of his snow onto the end of my driveway. Every storm. Every year.
The Orange Beast Awakens
Three days later, the lie was over. The sky turned the color of a dirty nickel and unleashed eight inches of dense, wet snow. The kind of snow that breaks backs and shovels. I was on a 7 a.m. call with the Bangalore team, my headset clamped on, trying to explain why their latest patch had broken the user interface for our biggest client. My screen was a sea of concerned faces in tiny boxes.
Then I heard it. A low, guttural cough, followed by a roar that vibrated through the floorboards. The Orange Beast was awake.
I muted my mic and walked to the living room window, pulling back the curtain. There was Walt, bundled in a bright orange snowsuit that made him look like an escaped convict from a polar prison. His snowblower, a behemoth that could clear a runway, was a matching shade of obnoxious orange. He was a perfect caricature of suburban warfare.
Mark came up behind me, a mug of coffee in his hand. “He’s at it early,” he said, his voice still thick with sleep.
“He’s always at it early,” I muttered, watching Walt start his first pass. The machine chewed up the snow and spat it out in a plume twenty feet long. He was already working his way toward our property line. The dread in my gut was cold and heavy. I had a 9 a.m. presentation with our VP of Sales. It was a critical meeting, one I’d been preparing for all week. I couldn’t be late. I couldn’t be flustered.
“Maybe it won’t be so bad this time,” Mark offered, ever the optimist. He’d never been the one to have to clear it. His commute was a ten-second walk to his own home office in the basement.
I didn’t answer. I just watched the orange monster advance, its engine a promise of the work to come.
A Wall of White
Walt was an artist of accumulation. He didn’t just clear his driveway; he sculpted his snow. He’d start at the top, by his garage, and work his way down in meticulous, overlapping lines. For the first twenty feet, he’d aim the chute directly onto his own front lawn, building a neat, uniform berm along his flowerbeds. It was a demonstration. See? I can be reasonable.
But as he neared the street, his strategy shifted. The public easement, that ten-foot stretch of no-man’s-land between the sidewalk and the road, was his canvas. And my driveway was his paint.
He’d make a pass down his left side, the side bordering our property. The plume of snow would arc perfectly, landing in a dense heap exactly where our driveway met the street. Then he’d turn around and come back up the same line, this time firing the snow from the other side of his machine, reinforcing the wall. He did this over and over, packing it down, turning fluffy powder into something with the density of wet concrete.
I stood at the window, my hand gripping the sill so tightly my knuckles were white. The Bangalore team was still chattering in my ear, their voices a distant, irrelevant buzz. All I could focus on was the growing wall. It was a deliberate, calculated act. He had a massive lawn, a whole corner lot with acres of space to deposit his snow. But he chose my driveway. He chose to block me in.
Mark put a hand on my shoulder. “Eliza, let it go. I’ll help you clear it when you’re done with your meeting.”
“By then the plows will have come and buried it under another foot of ice,” I said, my voice sharp. “I have to get it now.” The meeting was in an hour and a half. It would take me that long to even make a dent.
The Morning Aftermath
By 8:15, I was zipped into my parka, my laptop still open on the kitchen table, the presentation slides mocking me. The air was frigid, the kind of cold that steals your breath and crystallizes the hairs in your nose. The wall Walt had built was four feet high and at least ten feet wide, a solid barricade of compacted snow and ice.
I plunged my shovel into it. It was like trying to stab a rock. The blade just bounced off with a dull thud. This wasn’t shoveling. This was mining. Each scoop was a grunt-inducing deadlift of heavy, granulated ice. This was the snowblower’s foulest trick: it didn’t just move snow, it pulverized it, melting it slightly with the friction and heat of the machine before flinging it into the freezing air where it instantly refroze into a solid mass.
Sweat started to prickle my scalp under my wool hat. My lower back screamed in protest. Every few minutes, I’d stop, leaning on the shovel handle, panting, my breath pluming in the still air. And that’s when I’d see him.
Walt would be in his garage, the door wide open. He’d be wiping down The Orange Beast with a rag, a thermos of something steaming perched on his workbench. He wouldn’t be looking directly at me, but I knew he was watching. Then, as if on cue, he’d lift his hand in a cheerful, infuriating little wave. Not a wave of sympathy. It was a wave of ownership. A wave that said, Look at the problem I made for you. And look at me, warm and finished.
I ignored him, my anger a hot coal in my gut. I checked my watch. 8:45. My meeting started in fifteen minutes. I had cleared a path just wide enough for a person to squeeze through. My car was still completely trapped. There was no way I was getting out.
Defeated, I trudged back inside, shedding my wet coat and boots in the mudroom. I logged into my meeting, camera off, my face flushed and my hair damp with sweat. “Sorry, everyone,” I said, my voice tight. “Having some technical difficulties this morning.” It wasn’t a lie. Walter was a technical difficulty. He was a system failure in human form.
The Escalation: A Polite Inquiry
The anger from that morning didn’t fade. It simmered on a low boil all day, a bitter aftertaste to my coffee, a distracting hum during my meetings. Mark, bless his conflict-averse heart, thought I should just let it go. “He’s an old crank, Eli. It’s not worth the fight.”
“It is worth the fight,” I told him that evening, pacing the kitchen. “It’s about respect. It’s the principle of the thing. He is actively, knowingly, making my life harder for his own convenience. That’s not being a crank; that’s being an asshole.”
So, I decided on a course of action. I would try reason. I would be the bigger person. The next day was Saturday, the sun a pale wafer in a blue sky. I saw Walt outside, meticulously sweeping a few stray snowflakes off his perfectly clear porch. This was my chance. I put on my boots, took a deep breath, and walked across the crunching snow of my own, still-imperfectly-cleared yard.
“Morning, Walt,” I said, forcing a smile that felt like it might crack my face.
He looked up, his expression guarded. “Eliza.” He nodded, not stopping his sweeping.
“Listen, I wanted to talk to you about the snow-blowing,” I began, keeping my tone light and neighborly. “When you clear your driveway, you end up piling a lot of it right at the end of mine. It makes it really difficult for me to get out in the morning.”
He stopped sweeping and leaned on his broom, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Well, where do you suggest it goes? It’s gotta go somewhere.”
“You have that whole side yard,” I said, gesturing with my chin toward the vast, empty expanse of his corner lot. “You could easily aim it that way.”
He let out a short, barking laugh. It wasn’t a sound of humor. It was a sound of dismissal. “That’s my lawn. I spend all summer getting that grass just right. Not gonna bury it under a mountain of icy slush full of road salt. Kills the turf.”
I stared at him, my forced smile melting away. “But it’s okay to bury my driveway, which I need to use to get to my job?”
About the Author
