He stood before the entire class, my tired, unwilling face projected on the screen behind him, and had the nerve to call me his muse.
It all started with a community college photography class, my one escape from the daily grind.
A classmate named Arthur decided I wasn’t a person learning a new skill, but a subject for his “art.” First came the pictures posted online without my permission, then the constant feeling of his lens following me. His little project grew into a full-blown obsession, a portfolio of my stolen moments he proudly called his “Sarah Series.”
I told him to stop. I told the instructor. Nothing worked. My discomfort was dismissed as a compliment I just didn’t understand.
He thought his art gave him the last word, but he never imagined I would use the very language of photography to publicly dismantle his masterpiece, one technical failure at a time.
The First Shutter Click: A Hobby in Halogen Light
I signed up for “Introduction to Black and White Photography” for the same reason most middle-aged women sign up for community college classes: to have a single activity that didn’t involve my job, my husband, or my teenage son. My role as a UX designer was all about clean lines and digital precision. I craved the mess of it—the chemical smells, the tangible weight of a roll of film, the magic of an image slowly emerging in a tray of developer.
The classroom smelled of dust and fixer, a scent I found immediately comforting. It was a basement room filled with mismatched stools, scarred wooden tables, and an assortment of students. There were eager high schoolers, a few retired men with intimidatingly expensive gear, and then there was him.
He had a cheap Canon Rebel that looked like it had been through a war, its plastic body scuffed and worn. He introduced himself to the class as Arthur. He had thinning hair, a perpetually earnest expression, and a way of speaking in soft, declarative sentences as if he were sharing profound truths. His theme for the semester, he announced, was “finding the sublime in the mundane.”
I barely registered him beyond that first night. He was just another piece of the classroom furniture until my photo appeared on the class forum. It was a shot of me from behind, leaning over a light table, my silhouette framed by the glowing surface. The caption read: “Light finds its subject. Week 1.”
My husband, Mark, glanced at my laptop screen over dinner. “Huh. A little creepy,” he said, before returning to his steak. “At least it’s a good photo.”
It wasn’t a good photo. The focus was soft and the composition was lazy. But Mark was right about the other part. It was a little creepy. I brushed it off as a one-time thing, an awkward attempt at his “sublime in the mundane” project. I was just a convenient piece of the mundane that happened to be in his line of sight.
Pixels and Public Space
A week later, a second photo appeared. This time it was a profile shot of me listening to our instructor, Ms. Albright, talk about F-stops. My brow was furrowed in concentration. The caption was more direct: “Beauty in everyday light.”
This one felt different. It wasn’t a silhouette; it was my face. Unposed, unaware. A few other students had ‘liked’ the post. A knot of irritation tightened in my stomach. I was here to learn how to take pictures, not to be the subject of someone else’s homework.
I scrolled through the forum. Arthur had posted photos of other things—a crack in the pavement, a water-stained ceiling tile, a half-empty coffee cup. But I was the only person he’d posted. Twice.
“He posted another one,” I told Mark that night as we cleaned up the kitchen.
“The photo guy?” He rinsed a plate, his back to me. “Just tell him to knock it off if it bothers you.”
It was practical advice, the kind Mark was good at. But it ignored the sticky, complicated reality of the situation. I didn’t want a confrontation. I didn’t want to be the difficult woman who couldn’t take a compliment, even if the compliment felt like a violation. Voicing my discomfort felt like admitting weakness, like I couldn’t handle something as trivial as a weird classmate. So I said nothing.
The Rule of Thirds and Unspoken Rules
The next Tuesday, I felt his eyes on me. It was a distinct, prickly sensation on the back of my neck. I tried to ignore it, focusing on loading film into my camera body, the cool metal a welcome distraction. But then I heard it—the soft, plastic *click-whirr* of his DSLR.
I looked up. He was across the room, camera lowered, giving me a small, encouraging smile, as if we were collaborators. I gave him a tight, thin-lipped look that I hoped conveyed my annoyance and turned my back to him. The rest of the class, I made a conscious effort to sit behind a pole or use one of the larger-statured retirees as a human shield.
He tried to talk to me near the developing trays later that evening. “You have a very expressive face,” he said, his voice quiet. “Very authentic. Most people put up a wall when a camera is on them, but you’re just… present.”
“I’m just trying to learn how to use the enlarger, Arthur,” I said, not looking at him. My hands, encased in cheap latex gloves, fumbled with the negative carrier.
“That’s what I mean!” he whispered, excited. “The focus. The dedication. That’s the story I’m trying to tell.”
The story he was trying to tell felt suspiciously like the story of a woman who just wanted to be left alone. I felt a surge of frustration. He wasn’t hearing my clipped tones or reading my closed-off body language. He was only seeing what he wanted to see through his viewfinder: a subject.
Aperture of Anxiety
The photos kept coming. One a week, like a scheduled publication. A close-up of my hands rinsing a print. A shot of me squinting at a contact sheet, a stray curl falling across my forehead. The captions grew more poetic. “The alchemist at work.” “A study in patience.”
The forum became a source of dread. I would log on to upload my own assignments—shots of decaying architecture and stark urban landscapes—and my stomach would clench, waiting to see which piece of myself he had captured and pinned up for display that week.
The likes on his posts grew. A few students even left comments. “Great candid!” “Love the lighting here.” No one seemed to find it strange that one student was systematically documenting another. To them, they were just photos. They didn’t feel the weight of his gaze following them, the constant, low-grade hum of being watched.
I started to feel like a ghost in my own life, my physical presence in the room secondary to the image of me he was creating online. The classroom, once a refuge, now felt like a stage. And I was the unwilling star of a one-man show I’d never auditioned for. The anxiety was a low, constant thrum, a background static that was starting to bleed into everything else. My hobby was becoming a source of stress, and the thought of quitting began to feel less like a failure and more like a necessary escape.
Developing a Problem: The Unwanted Portfolio
“Sarah, can I show you something?”
Arthur’s voice was soft, but it cut through the low chatter of students packing up their gear. I had my bag slung over my shoulder, one foot already aimed for the door. I feigned distraction, pretending to search for my keys. “Sorry, Arthur, I’m in a rush. My son has a late soccer practice.”
“It’ll just take a second,” he insisted, stepping into my path. He held up a tablet, the screen glowing. “I’ve been organizing my work from this class. I wanted you to be the first to see.”
My excuse evaporated. Trapped. He swiped the screen, and my own face, ten times over, looked back at me. He had created a digital folder, a gallery. Titled, simply, “Sarah.” There I was, laughing at a joke Ms. Albright told. There I was, looking exhausted under the fluorescent lights. There I was, biting my lip in concentration. Each image was a stolen moment, curated and collected into a monument to his obsession.
“I’m calling it my ‘Sarah Series,’” he said, his eyes shining with a frighteningly genuine pride. “I think it’s my strongest work. It’s about capturing the unguarded moment, you know? The truth of a person.”
My throat went dry. My truth? He knew nothing about me. He knew nothing of the argument I’d had with my son that morning, or the stress of a looming deadline at work that was the real reason for the furrow in my brow in frame seven. He had captured a shell and called it a soul.
“Arthur,” I managed, my voice barely a whisper. “This is… a lot.”
“It is, isn’t it?” he beamed, completely misreading my shock for awe. “I feel like we’re really creating something special here. Together.”
A Focus Group of One
The confrontation left me rattled. The word “together” echoed in my head all the way home. We were not together in this. I was being documented, like a rare species of bird he’d stumbled upon in the wild.
The next class, I sought out Chloe, a young graphic design student who sat near me. She was sharp and talented, with a no-nonsense vibe I appreciated. I found her by the lockers, packing away her vintage Pentax.
“Can I ask you a weird question?” I started, trying to sound casual.
“Shoot.”
“The guy, Arthur. Have you seen the photos he posts of me on the forum?”
She nodded, a flicker of recognition in her eyes. “Oh yeah. The ‘muse’ guy. Kinda weird.”
“It’s getting… intense,” I said, the words feeling inadequate. “He showed me a whole folder on his tablet. It was just dozens of pictures of me.”
Chloe winced in sympathy. “Ugh, that’s super creepy. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.” She paused, zipping her bag. “I mean, he’s probably harmless. Just one of those awkward artsy types who doesn’t know how to talk to women. He probably thinks it’s a huge compliment.”
Her words, meant to be reassuring, were anything but. *Harmless. Awkward. A compliment.* It was a checklist of dismissals, a way to file his behavior under ‘unfortunate but not dangerous,’ neatly absolving everyone, including myself, of the need to do anything about it.
“Right,” I said, my voice flat. “A compliment.”
Chloe gave my shoulder a friendly squeeze. “Guys are just like that sometimes. You just gotta ignore them until they get the hint.” But I had been ignoring him. And he wasn’t getting the hint. He was building a shrine.
Cropping Out Consent
I decided ignoring him wasn’t working. Avoidance became my new strategy. It was exhausting. I’d scan the room the moment I walked in, plotting a path to my seat that kept the maximum number of bodies and objects between us. I started volunteering for darkroom duty, the solitary blackness a welcome relief.
But it was like trying to dodge the rain. I’d feel the familiar prickle and glance up to see his lens trained on me from between two enlarger stations. I’d turn my back, and he’d reposition. He was patient. He was persistent.
The worst part was the gaslighting. Not from him, but from myself. Was I overreacting? As Chloe said, he hadn’t actually *done* anything. He hadn’t touched me. He hadn’t threatened me. He was just taking pictures. But it felt like a constant, low-level theft, a pilfering of my privacy, my peace of mind, my image. He was cropping me out of my own experience, reframing my life to fit his narrative.
One night, I saw him showing his camera’s display to one of the retired men, a jovial guy named Frank. Frank nodded, then looked over at me and gave me a thumbs-up. “Looking good, Sarah!” he called out.
Arthur beamed. He had an ally. My stomach turned to ice. He was normalizing it, making his surveillance a charming classroom quirk. I wasn’t a person anymore; I was a class project. And I was the only one who seemed to have a problem with it.
A Conversation in Overexposure
I couldn’t take it anymore. The following week, I waited until the end of class, my heart pounding a frantic rhythm against my ribs. I watched him meticulously pack his worn camera bag, and I walked over, my hands clenched into fists in my pockets.
“Arthur, we need to talk.”
He looked up, his expression one of pleasant surprise. “Sarah! I was just thinking about the light in here tonight. It’s very forgiving.”
“I need you to stop taking my picture,” I said. The words came out blunt and cold, with none of the gentle padding I had rehearsed.
He blinked, his smile faltering. A look of genuine confusion washed over his face. “Stop? But… why? The series is coming along so well.”
“Because I’m asking you to. It makes me uncomfortable. I’m not your model, I’m your classmate. I’m here to learn, not to be your subject matter.”
He seemed truly wounded, his shoulders slumping. “I… I don’t understand. I thought you’d be flattered. I’m not taking bad pictures of you. I’m capturing your essence. It’s for the art.”
“My ‘essence’ is not public property, and it doesn’t matter if it’s for art or for a commercial,” I snapped, my voice louder than I intended. “The answer is no. Please. Stop.”
He stared at me, his mouth slightly agape. The look on his face wasn’t anger or malice. It was a deep, profound bewilderment, as if I had just told him the sky was green. He saw his camera as an extension of his artistic soul, and in his mind, art trumped everything. It trumped my discomfort. It trumped my consent.
“I’m just trying to make something beautiful,” he mumbled, looking down at his scuffed camera bag.
I walked out of the classroom that night feeling a bitter mix of relief and fury. I had finally said it. But the conversation hadn’t felt like a resolution. It felt like I had just criticized a child’s macaroni necklace. He didn’t get it. And I had a sinking feeling he never would.
The Slow Burn: The Illusion of Subtlety
For one glorious week, there was nothing. I logged into the class forum with a sense of lightness I hadn’t realized I’d lost. I participated in class discussions, I focused on my own work, I moved through the classroom without a constant, subconscious radar tracking Arthur’s position. I allowed myself to believe it was over. That my direct, if painful, confrontation had worked.
Then, the following Monday, a new post appeared.
The photo was taken from a distance, shot through the open doorway of the darkroom. I was a small figure inside, bathed in the eerie red of the safelight, my back to the camera. It was a technically better photograph than his usual work—more composed, more atmospheric. But it was undeniably me.
The caption was a single emoji: 🎨.
A hot, acidic rage surged through me, so potent it made me dizzy. This was his compromise. His idea of respecting my wishes. He hadn’t taken my picture *in the classroom*. He hadn’t posted a close-up of my face. He hadn’t used my name. To him, this was a clever, respectful workaround. To me, it was a declaration. It was him telling me, silently and publicly, that my boundaries meant nothing. That he would find a way, no matter what. It wasn’t about art anymore. It was about power.
A Complaint in Sepia Tone
The next day, I made an appointment with Ms. Albright. I sat in a plastic chair across from her cluttered desk, the air thick with the smell of old paper and coffee. I laid it all out for her, my voice calm and measured, betraying none of the fury simmering beneath the surface. I told her about the weekly photos, the unwanted portfolio, the direct confrontation, and the latest post, which felt like a slap in the face.
Ms. Albright listened patiently, her expression serious. She steepled her fingers, a thoughtful frown on her face. When I finished, she was silent for a long moment.
“I see,” she said finally. “Well, this is certainly a… delicate situation.”
She pulled up the class forum on her computer and scrolled through Arthur’s posts. “Artistically,” she mused, “he’s showing some development. He’s thinking about framing, about narrative…”
“That’s not the point,” I interrupted, my control starting to fray. “The point is that I’ve asked him to stop, and he hasn’t. It’s harassment.”
The word hung in the air between us. Ms. Albright shifted uncomfortably. “Harassment is a very strong term, Sarah. From what I can see, his intentions are artistic, not malicious. He seems to be struggling with the concept of subject-artist collaboration.”
She was translating his creepy obsession into academic jargon. I felt a profound sense of institutional failure. She wasn’t my advocate; she was his apologist.
“I will have a word with him,” she conceded, sensing my rising anger. “I’ll remind him of the school’s code of conduct and the importance of respecting his fellow students’ personal space. I’ll handle it.”
Her promise felt flimsy and bureaucratic, a sepia-toned solution to a full-color problem. I left her office feeling more alone than ever. The system wasn’t going to protect me. I was on my own.
The Final Project’s Shadow
Two weeks before the end of the semester, Ms. Albright announced the final project. “I want a ten-photo slideshow,” she declared, “presented to the class. It should be a cohesive series, telling a story or exploring a single, powerful theme. This will be forty percent of your final grade.”
A cold, heavy dread settled in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t have to guess what Arthur’s theme would be. His “Sarah Series” was about to have its big premiere. The forum was one thing—I could avoid it. A live presentation in front of the entire class was a public humiliation I couldn’t escape.
My own project felt like a small act of rebellion. I had spent weekends wandering the city, practicing a kind of photography that was the polar opposite of his. I shot the backs of heads, the gestures of hands, the blur of people moving through space. My subjects were anonymous, their stories hinted at but never explicitly told. It was about capturing the energy of the city without violating the privacy of its inhabitants. It was about respect.
The final two weeks of class were a study in tension. Arthur was a whirlwind of smug activity, constantly tweaking photos on his laptop, a secretive smile playing on his lips. He would catch my eye across the room and give me a look I couldn’t decipher—was it an apology? A warning? A shared secret? Whatever it was, it made my skin crawl.
The shadow of his final project loomed over everything. The joy I had initially found in the class was gone, replaced by a grim determination to just see it through.
About the Author
